An anxious momma

I know that I'm way behind on my blog, but I want to post my feelings about this morning, and then I'll catch up on the rest later. We are checking Benjamin into AR Children's Hospital this morning at 8:45 for a procedure at 10:45. I feel so terrible that he couldn't have anything after midnight last night! I know that his throat must be dry and I'm going to have to give him a little white lie all morning about we don't have any breakfast or milk. He's as bad as I am about wanting breakfast first thing in the morning!

Ben Ben the Pooper Man! (aka Super Man)

Anyway, the procedure will hopefully fix Benjamin's swallowing issue. Ever since he was a baby, he has always choked on liquids (mainly thinner liquids). He's 2 1/2 now and still chokes if I don't add a thickening agent to his drink (think honey thick consistency!), so the ENT is going to scope him today to see the cause of Benjamin's choking. I know that God will be holding Benjamin's hand for me, as well as helping Dr. Richter during the process, but this is my baby boy! I'm so not liking the thought of Benjamin being put to sleep and them taking him away from me! He's such a momma's boy and has really been wanting me to hold him a lot lately...it's just tugging at my heart that I won't be able to hold him later today. I think this 30 minute procedure will be the longest 30 minutes of my life! So I have to keep reminding myself that this could be much worse and I have to thank God for the healthy boy that Benjamin is! I know that so many of his and ME's classmates have gone through much more intense procedures, even at way younger ages, but this is still so hard for your little ones to have to go through anything.

I'm just praying that God helps us find a quick, easy cure today!